When we go astray, God has a way of leading us back to him. Over the past few weeks, I feel that I went astray from my father. I usually pray daily. At night before I go to sleep and in the morning before my feet hit the floor. Well, over the past few weeks, I have not been doing that. If I were sleepy, I would say I was gonna pray in the morning and still didn't do it. My conscious (really my spirit) was telling me that I was slipping and that I needed to get my heart back where it was, which was with God.
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If you don't know, when you have a close relationship with God and you become out of sync with him and his word, he's gonna throw a wrench in your situation to get you to come back to him. Some people won't even seek him. They'll start to drink or drink heavily, smoke, gamble, or even go out to clubs (as if this is going to make them feel any better). When drinking and smoking, once you sober up, those same problems you tried to drink and smoke away, still exist. Gambling and going out to clubs will only leave you broke. In my case, I knew God was calling me back home so instead of even thinking about doing any of the above-mentioned things, I feel to my knees and began to pray.
In my daily prayers, I always ask God to help me take the initiative to start reading the Bible. I never read the Bible. Keeping it 100, this has been my prayer for years and I still never opened my Bible other than for Bible Study and Sunday service. After the devil has come in my home and caused an uproar, I'm reading the Bible and back to my regular prayer schedule. I'm working on rebuilding and strengthening my relationship with the Lord. I am even more serious about my walk with Christ than I was in the past. I'm also praying and asking God to deliver some of my family and friends, whose names I won't reveal. Nonetheless, I am asking that God brings my family back together, if it is his will.
Question for my readers, how do you know when it's the spirit or the flesh speaking to you? I'm still struggling with this. I ask God to make things clear for me and I still feel confused as I'm unsure if it's the spirit or my flesh talking to me. I want to hear from God, I want to be obedient with what he wants me to do. It's better to have God in your life, than to go on everyday living life without him. In my opinion, without God, you're not living life.
I know that the reason for the uproar in my house is a result of me straying away from God. I also know that the situation could have been a lot worse than what it is. I'm praying for strength to get through this and for God to keep my family covered. In all the days of my life, I have never wanted something so badly and that is, to serve the Lord with all my heart and for my family to do the same thing. "The family that prays together, stays together." Of course, that's not what the devil wants but I'm praying for knowledge to also realize when the devil is trying to use me as he has done a few weeks ago. I will be able to fight him off using my weapons; my Bible and prayer.
I know the devil is really busy in this season. Some of my closest friends are struggling with their own personal situations as well. I'm praying that they seek God and ask for his guidance and understanding. Matthew 6:33 states, "Seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." This is what I'm working on moving forward. It's not easy but I'm praying that I can do it. Though I want my family to be the way it was, I know that I shall seek the Lord first and he will add all other things that he wants me to have. Though I've been crying everyday and every night, I appreciate and respect the process because it is strengthening me. This is a new experience I've encountered and am now trying to overcome. This experience is molding me into a better woman, better mother, better wife to be, and a better friend.
I am now finding my way back home. Please keep me and my family lifted up in prayer. Thanks for reading.
Prayer photo courtesy of: http://www.copticchurch.org/
