Listening When He Speaks

For two years I've been struggling with something God told me to hang on to. It's not that I don't want to hang on to it, I'm just tired of waiting.

God gives everyone a message. It's up to you whether you listen or not. Speaking to you as well as myself, we all should listen when he speaks because he knows what's best. Matter of fact, he knows us better than we know ourselves. Over the past three years, I've grown more into God and I have a better relationship with him. We talk all the time. Every time I'm about to make a very important decision, I speak with him and ask is it the right thing to do. The decision I make is not always what he tells me. Sometimes I'm in denial and I want what I want so I'll do it anyway then say to myself, if it's a success then I know it's God, if it's not, it's still God, he's just telling me NO because that's not what he told me to do and I did it anyway. Though people on the outside looking in don't quite understand why I do certain things, it's not for you to understand. I've spoken with God and he has told me my next move. He has told me what I deserve, what I'm going to get and he's gonna give it all to me in his time. He also said that this isn't going to be easy but I'm giving it to you anyway because I know you can handle it. I can't tell you what he told me I'm getting because that's our secret ^_^ but I will tell you what he said it's gonna take to get there and this is for my readers too because he may have spoken to you about your own situation.

This particular day I cried, I cried and I cried. I prayed to God and laid everything on the table; feelings, questions and all. There are two things I want so bad and I work so hard to have them both. God has told me he's going to give them to me but I need to be patient. He's not going to give them to me when I want it because I'm not ready to have it and it's premature. He says all things need growth including me. Remember I spoke about tunnel vision? He confirmed that I'm in the tunnel, the toughest part of my life. Sometimes I go back on his word and say I doubt it's gonna happen. I think I'm psyching myself out because I want what I want so bad. Then God steps in again and confirms that I'm going to get it, just not yet and that I need to press forward. I've never been so confused about certain things in all the days of my little 26 year old life but God says it's on it's way. I know God works in mysterious ways so I'm sitting back wondering what is he gonna do to make these things happen for me. I don't know; all I know is he says it's gonna work. When I feel like it's not working or it's not going to work, I try to run away and my little confirmation runs me down and hits me smack dab in my face and...I smile again. Anyone that has a relationship with God, understands where I'm coming from and anyone that does not, you'll get it later. I go back and forth with God all the time about the message he gave me. Is it really gonna happen God? Why do I feel humiliated? He says you're suppose to feel humiliated, it humbles you. Then I'll say, I'm throwing in the towel, it ain't happening; I think I misheard the message. Then God steps in again and says, Child you are gonna get what you ask for, keep believing in me!!! Every time I have a negative thought and I feel like giving up or throwing in the towel, he always gives me my confirmation in a different way that this too shall pass and I'm gonna get all that I ask for plus more. I need to be obedient, live holy and lastly, listen when he speaks.